Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Sweet Dream, Dreamer!

"Everyone needs to have a dream."
"Dream Big."
"Dream, dreamer!"

So what is your dream?

If you're asking that, I will not elaborate my dream becoming a superstar nor becoming one of ten most inspiring women in the world (just like Sri Mulyani) nor becoming a master chef. I just have this little... perhaps cheesy dream... that I continuously dream on. You know it's just happened. Through my head, my mind and I have not enough strength to overcome it. Perhaps that's just the way I want.

And yes, talking about having a dream...

I would like to be a superstar... in my own workfield. I might be a banker, as I planned, and I want me to be a star in my work place. I know my ability and capability, so I want me to shine there. And even if I happen to quit my job later on (I just know it's gonna happen someday), I wanna be a superstar doing a business. Perhaps... a restaurant-owner? A writer? Who knows. I just want to shine on what I'll be doing :)

I would like to be the inspiring woman... for my little future family. I wanna be the woman who strongly stand behind the man that's gonna be my imam, support him on his career, his work, his dream... be there whenever he needs me and just... be the woman he needs. I wanna be this woman whose kids adore her like she's the idol. To nurture, to care, and to give her kids all the love she got. To raise the kids with her (future) husband. Sounds like a fairy tale and I know nothing's going perfect but we write story of happiness, don't we? :)

And I would like to be the chef master... in my own kitchen. I am going to cook my husband and kids a breakfast every morning. Greet my kids after school with a perfect lunch. And cook dinner for my little family that will make them miss my dinner if they're away. I want to deliver my love with my cooking. Wouldn't be as equal as my mother-in-law, the taste of my cooking, but at least I give the same love in it. Seems delicious as I wish it will :)

Yea yea, I just have to find out who will taste all my cooking later and to make the story together. And yes I know, I'm becoming somebody who is mushy or sloppy or even weak, but I really love to dream this sweet dream.

I'm going to pursue it. I'm going to be with someone who'd like to share our dream.
Insya Allah, aamiin. :')

Cooking Pasta: A Professional Amateur

Hello! I am so excited today.
I am supposed to just lay on my bed an thinking to be healthy again as soon as possible because I will have this final-of-all test before I finally have my Sarjana Ekonomi (S.E.) behind my name, however, I was so hungry and my mum wasn't home so I deciced to look over the kitchen and see what to cook.

I found a pack of macaroni and a half pack of spaghetti. And I know what to turn them into: Macaroni Schotel and Spaghetti Aglio Olio.

So I will elaborate you how I cook my Stuffed Spaghetti Aglio Olio (that's how I name my cooking, Stuffed Spaghetti Aglio Olio).

Oia, karena gue bukan seorang yang sangat profesional di dapur, jadi jangan marah kalo gue menulis jumlah bumbu dapur yang dipake dengan "sedikit aja" atau "secukupnya" atau bahkan "seikhlasnya".

Pertama, lo butuh:
1 pak spaghetti (bisa mudah dibeli di supermarket)
2 siung bawang putih (diulek atau diiris tipis tipis)
Bawang bombay (potong dadu, sedikit aja)
Pala bubuk
Lada bubuk
Olive oil atau minyak zaitun (dibeli di supermarket atau hypermarket. jujur aja, harganya mahal -.-)
Smoked beef (bisa diganti sama daging cincang)
Basil dan oregano (ada di supermarket)

1.Panasin air di panci yang agak besar (atau tinggi) untuk memasak spaghetti. Tambahin garam kedalam spaghetti yang lagi dimasak.

2. Siapin pan untuk menggoreng saus zaitun. Panasin pan. Masukin 4-5 sendok makan minyak zaitun (tergantung banyaknya spaghetti yang mau dibikin. karena gue cuma masak setengah, makanya 4-5 sendok makan penuh minyak zaitun udah cukup) dan masukin bawang putih dan bawang bombay yang udah diolah. Apinya medium-low yaa, jangan maksimal.

3. Potong memanjang smoked beef (atau dadu juga boleh), cuci jamur dengan air panas, tiriskan. (p.s.: di supermarket ada jamur yang udah siap masak, tinggal dicuci air panas terus langsung diolah, ga perlu dipotong-potong.)

4. Masukin potongan smoked beef dan jamur ke dalam pan, aduk. Tambah garam, lada, dan pala bubuk secukupnya. Aduk dengan api kecil, jangan sampai bawangnya gosong.

5. Setelah spaghettinya masak, tiriskan. Matikan juga pan yang berisi minyak zaitun.

6. Biar mudah saat mengaduk spaghetti dengan saus zaitun, masukan spaghetti ke dalam pan yang berisi minyak zaitun. Tambahkan oregano dan basil, aduk.

7. Siapkan piring, sajikan spaghetti yang telah diaduk dengan taburan keju parut diatasnya.

8. Stuffed Spaghetti Aglio Olio siap dihidangkan. :9

So there there my Stuffed Aglio Olio Recipe. I know it doesn't sound so Italy. The truth is I found this recipe without any smoked beef nor mushroom, but I made it myself to be more stuffed hehe.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

A Finally-Published Letter Draft

Dear My Future Husband,

Man, you won't regret getting me as your lifetime partner. I've been so ugly far before I met you, then I got prettier (not that I'm 'that' pretty but just better than I was), I cover the beauty I have with this coloured veil. It's all for you. I only want to look pretty for you.

My man, you will be pleased having me as your housewife. I've been given a big responsibility as the first child, the eldest sibling. I am independent. I don't like the idea of being a spoiled girl because it's just not how a big sister behaves.

Even though I cannot guarantee our life will always be happy, but I guarantee I'll try my very best to make our life happy. It's not a guarantee either that we'll have a happy story, but I know we'll write a story of happiness, you and I.

My cooking will never be as good as your mother's, darling. But I want to learn cooking. Our cooking will never stand as equal but I wish it'll be nearly good as your mother's.

Dear, raising our kids will never as easy as we plan. So too building our home: to furnish it with stuff and spirit. It won't be easy too to manage cash. You know what I mean, dear. The ups and downs, as long as you love me, I'll fight for you.

My Dearest Future Husband,

I wish the next Eid we could meet up and celebrate it together. I've been longing for that.

My Lifetime Partner Dear,

Where in the world are you now?

Written: August 18, 2012
The Last Night of Ramadhan.
Syawal 1433 H night eve.
With the wish to be in your arm, my dear future husband.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Lesson Your Future Kids Should Learn...

...teach them RESPONSIBILITY.

So I had this terrible story today. It's about two kittens who were abandoned (I don't know exactly, whether they were abandoned by their kitty mum or abandoned by the people who supposed to be their owner). It started two days ago~~

I heard small meows from outside my house. I thought it was kitty meows (and I turned up correct) and I thought 'oh somebody must have these kittens newly born and keep the kittens with them' and 'poor kitties. they must have waited for their mum to be home'. But my thoughts were completely biased. The correct one was: somebody, who happened to be my neighbor, took these two cute and playful kittens from I-don't-know but since those kitties arrived at his home, he couldn't take a real good care of the kittens. Instead of taking the kittens a good care, he just left the kittens in a small box (used as shoes box) in a nearly field, which happened to be just in front of my house.

The next day, it was totally a sunny day. I heard a kitty meows again and that time I tried to find where the sound came from. I found it. A small cat, probably a month old, meowing in kind of help-me-I-can't-get-out in a water sewage. It was very hot, and there was a little cat, inside the water sewage, couldn't get out, hungry, and was suffering from the heat. The other kitty also experienced the same, on the other sewage.

So I got them out from the sewage, brought them to my house, and gave them a small plate of milk (it was Boy's, by the way, my four-year-old cat. And Boy didn't like to share milk with anyone, kittens included). They were so cute and playful. The grey kitty was the most playful than the yellow one since the yellow cat liked to be cuddled instead of playing around. So I cuddled the yellow while I also played with the grey.

They were still playing while enjoying the milk I served.

It was in the day. An hour after, I left them outside to play around while I was away somewhere. I went back home at night and arrived a bit late, around 11.

That was when I felt something was wrong. I didn't see the cats and I also couldn't hear them meows. I wasn't thinking that they were taken back to my neighbor who took them home. So I walked to the field and looked if there's something absurd there. And as I said 'puusss...' a small and light meow came from my left, and it was nothing but a small shoes box, with many rocks upon it.

Can you just imagine how rude that was? Two kittens was inside the small box, which was covered by many hard rocks upon it.

I opened it right away. True. Two small cats were gasping. No air holes were there. My heart was breaking. I got them two out, brought them to my house, gave them the warmest hug, and served them milk. I really wished I could keep them for real but my dad didn't like them (he actually likes cats but I don't know why this time he didn't like it ergh) and they would had been a disaster to Boy's territory. So I kept them outside and planned to give them milk at regular time.

The next morning, I woke up and thought about the kittens right away. No meows, that was strange. Then I got dressed and stepped outside and yup. The kittens. They were inside the box with rocks upon it again. Don't ask me who did it cos I don't know. If I knew I would smack him in the face I swear!

Right then was different. As I pulled over the stones, I called them 'puuuss' but there were no meow to reply. My heart pounded. True. The grey kitty died. The yellow one still gasping for air but he couldn't be saved. I cried. I cursed that human who brought them here and treated them this way. It might sound so crazy but I love cats, just like Prophet Muhammad. I cried, I got mad, I cursed, I was sad.

I took the yellow out from the box, for I saw he's still gasping. I stroke the grey in the head, whispered him a goodbye. As I brought the yellow one to a post nearby (pos satpam, very near to my house too), I left him to look for a help to bury the grey. I wasn't that lucky. None could help and my mum was so busy, she called me back and forth and I had to be there for her.

Finished with my mum, I got back to the post and found Aki, the security, in the post.
"Ki... loh, kucingnya mana?" | "Ki... err, where's the cat?"
"Udah mati. Udah aki kubur tuh disitu." | "He's died. I've buried him there."
*my heart broke, the yellow died...*

"Ki, bisa minta tolong ga? Itu ada lagi yang udah mati, warna abu-abu, di kotak itu. Tolong kuburin, ki." | "Ki can I ask a favor? There's another one died, the grey one, in that box. Could you please bury him?"

After a small chat and a brief explanation about whose cats were those, Aki buried the grey. I thanked him a lot for that.

So this ain't only about cats. This is about being responsible and what's right or wrong. I don't claim what I did was right but I wasn't the one who put cats in tiny, no-air box and covered the box with rocks. And talking about responsibility, yes, you HAVE TO be responsible to anything you deciced to take. Don't flip them away. Teach this to your future kids, please. I don't want another unfortunate cats die the same way.

Aah... kitties... I miss you already...

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Don't Trust All The Sentences in Italic

I was so wrong for letting myself dream high about us. I end up nothing but pieces of hopes like I knew I would. Yea, I knew I'd end up like this but I kept on and on and on dreaming about the sweetest probability of you and I.

30 minutes earlier I was thinking of building a peaceful home with you. Have kids. Raise a wonderful family. Share dreams and wills. You know, that sort of dream. But the next 30 minutes later you slap me with the fact that... I just mean nothing for you after all this time.

Oh no worries. I am used to a heart that's aching. I am used to swallow bitterness of fact. Yea sure, please. Don't feel sorry for me. I'm fine. I'm strong I can feel muscles here inside my soul.

Look at me. I'm smiling, right?

You've been acting so cold and I couldn't understand what happened. You probably already get bored of this--of me, I get it. Or perhaps you already find another prettier than me with some delightful chats between you, that's so ok. Err... maybe you get back to your ex that you've been longing so bad. Oh that's fine with me. Seriously.

Stare at me. There are no tears, right?
♫ I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose♫ Fire away, fire away
So... Wait, sorry I need to take a deep breath first.


So... Thank you. Very much. If there's any word best replaced Thank You Very Much I would use it and send it to you as my regards. Thanks. For the past months you had been so generous to me. On my birthday, my downs, my thesis, my stories, my ups... gave me stupid things I asked. Well I'm sorry for bothering you, though, but I'm so thankful. Thank you thank you thank you. I can't be thank you enough.

Hey, relax. My knees can hold me up still, I'm not shaking.

This is for the second time I've been posting such message to somebody like you, who had beed very very very very nice to me:
Be good. Go get your dream, I know you can. Finish your school stuff, take scholarship, fly across Indonesia and perhaps you may see me there in that nation you wish to visit.
Keep the faith to Allah, don't let anything ruins your faith. And thank you. For the good advise and everything. Thank you.
♫ You shoot me down, but I won't fall♫ I am titanium...
What? No, of course not. I'm not pale and I don't feel like getting migraine. ☺

There's only one thing we should realize. We've been too good--way too good--we forget we haven't met each other yet. Or perhaps we remember but pay less attention to it. Actually I pay a lot attention about it but... *sigh* forget it. (♫ I just haven't met you yet.)

I'm perhaps made of titanium. I don't know. I feel like I'm too strong for this. And if you can see my heart, it has strong muscles.
♫ Stone-hard as bulletproof glass

Titanium - David Guetta feat. Sia
Haven't Met You Yet - Michael Buble 

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Oh-So-Me Songs

Michael Buble - Haven't Met You Yet

there are songs that are really got into some people's life stories.
just like his song above, Haven't Met You Yet.
or perhaps this song below, I Knew I Loved You.
though being in love would be a little too fast to judge.
yea I really think you and I should really meet up someday.
you shouldn't be mind about it.
afterall, we've been really good.

Savage Garden - I Knew I Loved You

Saturday, August 11, 2012


satu kalimat lagi yang tak terungkap.
maunya hati berkata ini itu, lisan tak terucap.
otak rasanya kusut, tak tahan dengan keinginan yg meluap.

yang dimau hanya satu, bagaimana mungkin sulit diucap?
bahkan untuk memilah kata--ah!

semuanya berkerubung di kepala.
berisik rasanya dengan suara entah dari mana bergerumung di telinga.
mencelos asa di hati.
letih, letih sendiri.

maunya aku ya kamu.
kamu yang disitu.
yang saat aku sedih kamu menghiburku.
saat aku jatuh kamu mendukungku.
dan saat aku susah kamu mendoakanku.

aku hanya mau kamu.
butuh berbagi denganmu.
mm, rasanya aku rindu kamu.

hey, semoga kamu sehat dan diberi kelancaran di semua urusanmu.

Ramadhan Kali Ini

Ada yang beda di Ramadhan kali ini.

Papa sakit. Sekarang masih di rumah sakit. Sampe sampe papa harus ngerayain ulang tahunnya di rumah sakit tanggal 5 Agustus lalu. Agak miris sih. Ya gitu deh.

Dan Ramadhan setahun lalu. Masih jelas di kepala gue segala drama dan balada dengan dia. Yang sekarang sepertinya kita udah saling cuek. Ada apa dengan dua anak manusia--setahun yang lalu bisa saling menggombal, berkata manis, dan saling memberi harapan, tapi sekarang udah kayak orang yang baru kenal? We were never meant for do or die.

Ramadhan tahun lalu, waktu masih erat persahabatan kita. Masih menomor-satukan indahnya pertemanan. Dan kemudian kini gue harus mengalah pada egoisme berkasih-kasihan antara sahabat dengan kekasihnya. Ngga ada yang salah dengan itu, ga ada. Gue tekankan sekali lagi: GA ADA YANG SALAH DENGAN HAL ITU, GA ADA. Yang salah hanya kita yang pada tahun baru 2012 lalu berjanji untuk selalu bersama walau masing masing dari kita udah punya pacar kemudian lalai terhadap janji yang dibuat. Walau gue belum punya pacar (ga usah di-emphasize kali fan) (yaudahsih blog gue ini. masalah buat lo?).

Walau udah tiga tahun tinggal di lingkungan ini, gue masih belum merasa chemistry-nya. Sama sekali ngga ada. Aaah, how I miss my old neighborhood during Ramadhan. Gue masih inget rombongan bocah dengan panci dan bedug yang jalan kelilingan komplek sambil teriak "saoooorrr saaooorr" *dung dung pak dung pak*, atau Pak Naim, penjaga mesjid Ar Rahman yang selalu mengumumkan "assalamualaikum bapak bapak, ibu ibu, SAUUUURRR. Saatnya sauuurrr. Ibuuu, bapak.... SAAAAUUUURRRR" dengan toa masjid persis di jam 3 dan jam 3.30. Masih lekat juga di kepala gue ramenya depan rumah sama orang-orang yang mau ke mesjid, ade gue yang disamperin temennya buat ke mesjid, dan banyaknya abang jajanan di mesjid. Betul. Abang jajanan. Dari mulai abang es doger, abang cimol, abang somay, abang makaroni dan lidi lidian, abang gorengan, dan abang jajanan lainnya. Sempet bingung itu mesjid apa SD (-.-"). Dan itu semua...ga ada disini.

Aahh good old days...

Tapi ada satu hal yang selalu sama dari Ramadhan entah kapan. Yang sama adalah doa gue. Doa memohon dikasi laki yang paling becus buat gue. Bukan yang cuma sok berpendirian tapi digoyah dikit berubah (gak cocok sama gue yang tegas dan berprinsip). Bukan juga yang demennya ngegombal dan umbar ajakan sana sini tapi ga ada realisasi (oke, gue suka digombalin tapi gue ga suka digantungin). Dan kalo temen-temen gue pada pacaran sementara gue gagal sebelum berkembang, mm, mungkin Allah mau selametin gue dari dosa berpacaran kali yah. Atau, pacarannya gue nanti spesial kayak martabak: pacaran dengan laki yang becus dan dengan pasti melangkah ke masa depan bagi kita *mimisan*.


Friday, August 10, 2012

Just Terrible

No I'm not a spoiled I know it. I'm independent and I always be. But today, yea today, I went a rough and terrible day and I needed you. Where were you? Where have you been? What were you doing? How are you--we haven't talk ever since? Didn't you... Didn't you...miss me...just as I always be...?

I have this kind of terrible thoughts I don't know how to tell you how I miss you.

I hope you always be just fine. :)