Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Just Another Story

loving you secretly might be so wrong.
but i cant take it.
i just love you--and that's it.

i got confused. YOU are confusing.
i just know that keeping a secret--my very own secret--is so damn hard.

something secret should be kept silent.

but i cant take it.
maybe you should know that i am thinkin of you each and every time.
you've come to my sences.
how can i ever be freed of you?


I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
You know my heart is by your side

if you're not the one - daniel bedingfield


i am so naive.
i want you. i need you. but i keep telling myself that i dont need you. i lied. i lied to everyone even to myself.

cos im too afraid of falling down.
every love i know is only about pain and falling down.
pain.
hurt.

ive hurt so much.

i know it's not right--loving you. i guess i should do what i should do--stop thinking of you. but i could fall in love with you. secretly.

i cried once, knowing that i love you and knowing that i'll be hurt again. that is why i keep on lying, deceiving. maybe if i lie to myself i wouldnt get hurt. maybe if i lie to myself the feeling will go away.


Fall in love, then it ends
I swear: This will be my last heartbreak
Even the cherry blossom trees shaking in the wind,
Will bloom one day soon.

The sudden summer rain,
Passed by my tears in a quiet stream
A scene so like one from my memories
A summer re-run of a fall drama.

Why do I keep getting done in by the same punch,
And yet still continue to fight?
That's one of life's little mysteries.

sakura drops (english version) - utada hikaru


it's true, i am that somebody, i am somewhere you dont know. and i am thinking of you...

God, please tell me what i should do best.

Friday, January 09, 2009

Dedicated to My Beloved Sister EVER!

the very first time i heard my sister is marrying THAT man, i was like 'my sister is taken away from me...'

anyways--i dont have a sister, i know. she's only my cousin. so what? gak perlu ada embel embel sepupu buat seorang kakak. i love her like my very own sister. wait, she IS my sister. beloved. ever.

i do remember all the silly things that we did. all the intimate time between sisterhood... kita emang ga bisa jalan jalan sebebas dulu lagi. ato nelfon curhatan sampe malem. hanya karena kakak gw udah punya suami.

but i realised then, my sister is still there for me. she is still my sister. i still love her, and always be...


26 Oktober 2009

hari yang menegangkan. bukan cuma buat gue, tapi pasti juga buat kakak gue. hari itu, gue harus merelakan kakak gue tersayang hidup bersama orang lain. yang mana, dalam pengertian gue, kakak gue gak sebebas dulu lagi. gue gak bisa seenaknya nelfon dia lama lama, curhat tentang macem macem dan ngebanyol bersama...

kakakku menikah hari itu.


AKAD NIKAH

i was about to cry, that time--the ijap kabul time, but in the same time i was happy to know that finally my sister got her man. the man was sitting next to her.

she was beautiful. so beautiful than ever.

i prayed a lot at that time. supaya calon kakak ipar gua bisa lancar ngucapin ijap kabulnya. dan.. alhamdulillah, SAH. udah HALAL sekarang. hahahaaa

im speechless im spellbound. i have nothing more to say but,
'ka egha selamat yaaaaaa..... love you kaaaa.....'

RESEPSI

kakak gua... sumpah cantik banget...

after the ijapkabul been done, the party was started at 7 pm. i have no other job but: EAT and do something like......

this.

how silly, me and my brother, kikie.


haiaaahh...




dua pakde blasteran jawa BATAK. yeeeaaaaahhhhhh~




hey, KIDNAPPER!!


oia, waktu kawinan kaka gw itu kan HARUS pake kebaya dan kaen dan DIKONDE. ebuset. mana periasnya galak galak lagi. kondean gw ancur dikiiiit, poni gw keluar keluar dikiiiiitttt aja dimarahin. buset dah~


seusai resepsi..

lov lov you kaaa muaahh :)


wish i can be like her someday... of course after i find my man. come soon pls :p

Friday, January 02, 2009

HAPPY NU YIRR!

DESA.

gak pernah mimpi gue, kalo suatu hari nanti gw bakal punya rumah di desa.
tapi nyatanya sekarang, dengan bokap gw yang lagi ditugaSin ke Serang, ahirnya dia beli rumah baru di sebuah desa, bernama Desa Sepang.

papa: 'sebentar lagi kita nyampe di Tokyo, nih'
mama, ade gw, gw: ?????
papa: 'Sepang kan ibukotanya Tokyo,'
gw: 'JEPANG kali paah! grrrrrrr'

haaa~

emang sih rumah gw ga berada di desa persis, tapi di komplek perumahan yang dibangun di tengah tengah desa. udaranya bagus, bersiiiiihhh banget. tapi yaaa, namanya juga di desa, penduduk yang pada punya kebo sama kambing dilepas gitu aja peliharaannya, sampe sampe dia masuk ke komplek perumahan gw. sampe sampe...

gw: niat belajar. buka buku bisnis chapter 17. tibatiba...

MBEEEEEKKKKKK

gw: ignore. lanjut baca buku. tapi...

MBEEEEKKKKKK MBEEEEKKKKK

gw: ngintip ke jendela. ada dua kambing. still, ignore it. lanjut baca buku sampe...

MBEEEEEEEKKKK MBEEEEKKK MBEEEEEKKKKK

gw: AMPUN DEH TU KAMBING TAU GAK SIH GUE LAGI NIAT???!!

MBEEEEEKKKKKKKK

gw: ngintip ke jendela. tiga kambing masuk ke garasi rumah.
gw: grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

ya yaa.. begitulah desa.

warnet jauh, koneksi 3G non available, koneksi payah~
malahan, yang dinamain MALL sama orang Serang tuh ya PIJAY nya jakarta! mamam tuh mall!


NIAT BELAJAR, TAPIII....

gue sadar tanggal 5 Januari nanti, begitu masuk itu langsung UAS. gue juga bawa buku *cieh, tumben* Akuntansi, Ekonomi Mikro, Bisnis, Matek. tapi, dengan alasan kambing yang selalu mengembek *padahal sih gak berisik berisik banget--kecuali dia pada masuk garasi yang belom dipagerin* atau apalah. pokoknya ada aja deh alasan gw buat gak belajar.

i know im gonna feel sorry for this. sigh


EVEN BILLY GOT A GIRLFRIEND!

Raden Mas Billy, kucing gw, gw ajak berlibur ke Serang. sedikit repot sih bawa dia. tapiii, cukup bikin gw betah disana.

suatu malam Billy gak pulang. gw takut dia kenapa napa. namanya juga lingkungan baru buat dia. besoknya ahirnya gw cari dia keliling komplek.

capek capek gw cariii, ternyata dia malah lagi enak-enakan sama ceweknya! *dasar pejantan* tapi gw bisa bilang ceweknya Billy itu cakep, bersih lah. warnanya putih-krem gitu. gw namain aja dia BERTA WATI.

haa, papa. ckck, no comment lah...


BORING NU YIRR EVE

dalam suatu percakapan sms...

didi: fan, kpn mw bljr brg lg?
fany: kan kmrn udah. lo ga dtg knp hayooo?
didi: o, cm sekali doank bljrnya. kmrn gw ga bsa, ada acr kel. ah payah nh
fany: paling abis taunbaruan di. dmn lo taunbaru?
did: yauda kbrin. gw d crown..

di crown? waaah, it must be a magnificent holiday.

taun baruan di desa was just like an ordinary nights for me. sprint film di tv, masak, maen laptop, nyariin kucing, duduk duduk, tiduran, bosen, bosen, dan booooooseeennn...

it was a silent new year. please consider that it was a village. only a few children came out and play around while they blewing at such a horn. but however, bunyi jangkrik lebih indah menggema daripada bunyi terompet. ahirnya gw begadang sampe jam 4 cuma nontonin the da vinci code sampe abis.

tapi Alhamdulillah, gw bukan korban Gaza, yang gak bisa rayain taun baru dengan tenang. Alhamdulillah, Allah masih beri gw chance to live. padahal gw nista. padahal gw penyakitan. Alhamdulillah...


well, just some story then. obat rindu nulis blog. udah cukup lama juga gak ngepost.

HAPPY NU YIRR!!!
dont go with your past, your future awaits.