Friday, July 20, 2012

cuma satu

cuma satu yang gue tunggu.
cuma satu yang selalu terucap saat gue berdoa.
cuma satu yang selalu bikin gue tersenyum iri dan penuh harap.

ngga yakin apa gue bisa menunggu lebih lama lagi.
tapi apa mau dikata.
ya ini jalannya.

gue cukup kuat memegang keyakinan.
penuh harap dalam doa.
karena gue cuma mau satu itu.
satu itu saja.
lalu cukup.

lalu cukupkah?

ah...
dimana dia...

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Dikejar 'Deadline'

Sore ini gue beserta cewek-cewek gue main ke salah satu tempat di Kemang. Sebut saja Seven Eleven Codefin (itu mah sebut lokasi beneran fan -___-). Dengan gaya bak teenager, kita beli cemilan-cemilan dan tak lupa disertai keju sevel yang merupakan satu-satunya produk gratis yang bisa dinikmati di Ibukota.

Awalnya kita ngobrol mulai hal-hal yang ringan dan bersifat ke-kuliah-an. Misalnya, bahas Icana yang baru aja semhas, Rina yang lagi nungguin telfon dari kampus untuk kabar jadwal semhas, Tika yang baru memulai nyusun skripsi, dan gue yang (terpaksa) menunda sidang sampai bulan September. Itu baru awalnya. Akhirnya?

Before going to the end, it's just something you might need to know that we (especially me, Icana, and Rina), twenty-something ladies, actually have been thinking of... you know... having a "settle" life. Like... finished the bachelor degree, working on a carrier, meeting a man--the gentle one, and yup, I suppose you can already guess! It's getting married.

I know, it's harder to act rather than saying it. Example, marriage is not always as happy as it is crossed your mind. Belajar dari keluarga kakak sepupu gue dan kehidupan rumah tangga nyokap-bokap gue sendiri, gue paham betul kok "pernikahan" itu bukan sesuatu yang gampang. Dan tidak sesempurna saat kita menulis cerita tentang a happy marriage. Theory is never happening in real life *I'm so skeptical.

duh kok berat amat ya omongannya? S.E aja masih September. belom cari kerja, belom beli mobil sendiri. dan belom juga dapet calonnya! *jleb*

Anyway. I don't think it's wrong for me (and my friends or even you) talking about marriage.

So, Icana bilang gini sore tadi: "Gue tuh maunya yang serius, Fan. Kalo untuk pacaran lagi kayaknya gue males deh, buang-buang waktu. Ga jelas pacaran tuh sebenernya mau dibawa kemana hubungannya. Mau main-main, apa mau serius. Gue udah capek kalo buat main-main aja."
Ada benernya sih. Pacaran lama... say, 5 years or perhaps 7 years, but when you're not going anywhere but staying there... well... I don't think it's a serious relationship.

Lain lagi Rina, yang males memulai dari nol untuk kenal sama pria baru sampai akhirnya menjadi 'sesuatu'. "Gue males sih mulai lagi dari awal..." Selalu itu kalimat yang jadi alasannya kalo gue suruh kenalan sama orang baru. Dan gue pikir, bukannya dia ga mau kenal sama orang baru. Mungkin belum saatnya aja dia bertindak untuk kenalan. Lagipula, udah kurus dan makin cantik gini pasti nanti banyak yang in line dibelakang lo minta nomer lo and call you maybe, Rin. Azeeekk :D

Kalo Tika sih katanya santai kalo soal jodoh. Uni yang satu ini mungkin bakal dijodohin kali yah? Hihi :p Tapi bener loh. Jodoh itu kan udah ada yang atur, ya gak?

"Jodoh itu di tangan Tuhan. Jadi kita harus ambil jodoh kita dari tangan-Nya."

Kalo lo, Fan?
Gue? Hmm... gue selama ini udah cukup digantung-gantung, diombang-ambing ga jelas *sambil kemudian lagu mau diibaaawaaa kemanaaa hubungaan khithaaaaaaaa terngiang*. Gue mungkin sama seperti Icana. Pengennya settle dalam suatu hubungan yang bisa dibawa ke pelaminan *aiiihhh mimisan*. Tapi kalo emang jalannya gue mesti terombang-ambing dulu atau naracap dulu ya... itu kan jalannya. I don't set how it would be. I just set "my time" to be.
#curcol


Me - Icana - Rina


Hmm... dikejar 'deadline' kah kami para ciwi-ciwi yang baru akan diwisuda November ini? Kita udah mature-kah? Adult? Atau hanya emosi dan angan belaka? Pengharapan?

Snow White could dream of having her Prince coming to kiss her awake. Cinderella wished to have a Prince that could save her form her step-mom cruelty. Princess Viona has waited long enough to finally met Shrek who kissed her curse away. So, me dreaming away for my future gentleman who will spend our lifetime with, to be my imam, to cook him dishes, and to be his only one spirit, has never seemed to be a problem.

But then a question appears: Who?
Remains a mystery.


"Ya Tuhan, jodohku turunin dong, jangan dipegang mulu..."

dream wedding: sea side...

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Hey, thanks!

Hey, thanks! Thanks a lot!

Thanks for curing this I-miss-you feeling I've been keeping on for the last days I was busy. Well, 'days' don't seem to be the same like 'months' or whatever longer but still, I miss talking to you. Though just a small chat, I would still miss it.

Hey, hey, I missed you!

Somehow you cured me and thank you. Thank you. I can only say thank you and I just wanna thank you.

I wouldn't mind get up so early again for having some time spend with you again. Ah... yes, please :)

Saturday, July 14, 2012

The Jakarta Model UN 2012 Experience

I was asked by a friend of mine, who was in charged for Jakarta Model United Nations 2012, to be one of Campus Coordinator without any CV to submit (but anyway in the end of it all, the Campus Coordinator Manager asked me to submit my CV in order to fill out the database). From then on, I was the Campus Coordinator (furthermore you'll find this abbreviation as CC) for my institution, Indonesia Banking School.

It was SO hard, you know, to introduce a brand new activity besides banking and economics since this kind of international activity is so International-Relation, so much "diplomacy", which just didn't fit our instituion mission: be a great banker.

I put a lot of effort to attain my own goal as CC: having 2 or more delegates from Indonesia Banking School, therefore people will recognize the existence of Indonesia Banking School who just turned out to be an 8-year-old institution this year.

Anyway, for all of the effort I already gave, I had these guys in return to be the Distinguished Delegates from Indonesia Banking School: Mas Lukito Pakusadewo and I Dewa Made Agung Kertha Nugraha  who passed the selection progress (formerly I had 3 gentlemen who applied: them mentioned above plus Bayu Ramadhan Putra. Somehow Rama didn't pass the selection process. I think that was fine for him since he got that Abang-None stuff to work on).

Luki - Me - Dewa


Though I didn't attend the full conference of three days (I only attend 2 days--4 sessions--while the full conference was held in three days) but I can sum up that IT WAS TOTALLY INTERESTING having myself in a group of smart and critical people who dare to speak up and having themselves to be the attention while they were debating of some international issues. Great moments, great people, great minds, great debate--JUST GREAT.

Well, I too have to say that some times I found myself bored about that Final-Resolution-so-we-can-save-the-world-from-GHG-emission but hell about it. In the end, I find it was all pretty much amazing and somewhat a new experience for me!

From only being a CC and having my own goals, spreading the news out, getting these two gentlemen as delegates, opening ceremony and cultural night (which I couldn't come), conferences, flash mob, committee dinner, city tour through gala dinner, I enjoyed all that. I met new people, got new mind, experienced something I haven't had, had new acquaintances, and yep, got this new topic to write about. Hehe.


At Ragunan Zoo: Tree Planting Act, Social Act, Zoo Tour and Games.
We were having a game here in this photo. It was "picture you and your teammates with a certain animal based on the clue you got"

Yulia - Rizka - Me - Abi (he's a sweet, shy, childish high school student)

Dina (STAN) - Yulia (Politeknik Manufaktur Astra) - Rizka (Politeknik PLN) - Me (Should I elaborate again?)

Some UNFCCC girls

My two gentlemen: Luki and Dewa: Delegate of Slovakia (UN-GA) and Kazakhstan (UNFCCC)

Some of UNFCCC (plus one UN-GA) boys

UNFCCC at the Committee Dinner

UNFCCC after Flash Mob

Me on Flash Mob


I believe there are many other things that I couldn't write all that here in one post, like I met some people with a well-trained British accent (and obviously made me go like ergh-I-want-that-accent-too and how-could-you-speak-such-accent-!), some Laos people, the Malaysian delegate, some people who go abroad to study, some high school fellas (ow yeah I'm so young! \m/), and *uhuk* a little bit of drama. Well in every event I suppose, there'll be some kind of drama. LOL. Anyway, forget it.

Oh, it was also a TOTAL REFRESHMENT after I had my skripsi done and my seminar hasil done! Woohooo!

So, shall I had another MUN? Perhaps abroad?


DELEGATE
DIOFANY HERVILITA
DOMINICAN REPUBLIC
UNFCCC




Monday, July 09, 2012

Roller Coaster Day

Hari ini mood gue diputer-puter, jungkir balik persis seperti roller coaster yang naik ke atas, muter-muter, menukik ke bawah, lalu terhempas kanan-kiri.


Dimulai saat handphone gue, yang gue anak-tirikan sejak gue punya si beri, berdering. Butuh beberapa waktu untuk mencari keberadaan hp itu yang ternyata ada dibawah tumpukan baju yg belum digosok. Incoming Call menandakan kalo gue harus bangun dan dipastikan pula, saat panggilan itu masuk, udah jam 5 pagi subuh. Beberapa menit kemudian, si beri hitam berdering. Missed call dari Silvia, atau Ipi, temen gue yang bakal jadi asisten gue saat gue semhas (yang seharusnya) hari ini, jam 9 pagi.

Opening Slide

Setelah leyeh-leyeh beberapa menit (well, 25 menitan alias gue ketiduran lagi. gimana ngga, gue tidur sekitar jam 2 dan udah bangun lagi jam 5 cuma buat prepare semhas jam 9 yang ujungnya... ditunda), gue bangun, ambil wudhu, sholat subuh, lalu baca isi skripsi dan mempelajari teori dan rumus Cost of Fund, Cost of Loanable Fund, Cost of Money dan Base Lending Rate.

Sekitar jam 7 Ipi nyampe di kosan gue, dari Bekasi, demi jadi notulen dan asisten buat semhas gue (sungguh Pi, gue terharu). Lalu gue mandi, jam 7.30 berangkat ke kampus, sampe kampus, latihan presentasi.

Mood yang bagus, pagi yang cerah, aktivitas yang lancar, suasana yang mendukung, harus dipatahkan saat dua handphone gue menerima sms dari orang yang sama. Bapak Dosen Makro Ekonomi dan Perbankan serta bintang iklan Chevron yang berperan sebagai profesor. Apakah isi smsnya?

"Assalamualaykum semhas diundur besok jam 13"

Seeeeeeerrrrrrrrr

Tau ga rasanya kalo lagi naik kora-kora di Dufan? Naik.... terus turun.... dan jantung seperti ketinggalan di udara. Rasa capek, marah, bete, bosen, kesel, sedih--nyampur semuanya.

Gue langsung minta konfirmasi ke bagian akademik. Pihak akademik ternyata ga tau tentang diubahnya jadwal semhas gue jadi Selasa, 10 Juli 2012 jam 13.00.

Staff: Semhas kamu memang bukan sekarang
Gue: Gimana bisa bukan sekarang pak orang jadwal semhas saya ya hari ini, jam 9
Staff: Maksudnya bukan sekarang, bukan jam 9
Gue: Lah terus kapan?
Staff: Jam 11, hari ini.
Gue: Terus kenapa saya juga ga dikabarin kalo jamnya diundur jadi jam 11? Ada perubahan dalam jadwal kenapa ga ada yang komunikasiin ke saya sih--subjek yang mau semhasnya? Kok ga komunikatif banget?
Staff: Si mbak itu lagi cuti.
Gue: Terus staff cuma mbak itu doang? Bukannya banyak? Terus kenapa sekarang saya terima sms dadakan kalo semhas saya diundur jadi besok, jam 11, 30 MENIT SEBELUM SEMHAS SAYA MULAI? *udah mulai emosi*
Staff: Kalo itu saya ga tau mbak...

Dengan perasaan campur aduk yang didominasi rasa kesal, gue temui dospem gue. Alasan klise. Yak, betul. Apalagi kalo bukan alasan "dosen yang berhalangan". Alasan jitu dan gue yakin bukan cuma di kampus gue aja, tapi di semua kampus, buat mahasiswanya yang udah luntang-lantung diputer sana-sini.

OK fine. What else can I do? Gue jadi ga enak sama temen-temen yang dateng ke kampus cuma buat liat semhas gue. Sama Ipi, karena udah pagi banget ke kosan terus ke kampus buat jadi asisten dan semhas gue. Sama Rehan, Devi, Novi yang ke kampus cuma buat liat semhas gue. Yah.. gimana.. mau minta maaf pun bukan salah gue tapi... maafin deh ya...

Dan akhirnya gue nurut ajakan Luki, delegate JMUN dari IBS, yang bilang biar gue nyusul mereka (Luki dan Dewa) di acara JMUN di Walikota Jakarta Pusat. Dengan kepala penuh, gue ke kosan buat naro laptop dan berkas semhas, ambil blazer, ganti sepatu, dan langsung cus ke venue.

Disanapun gue cuma sekitar 20-30 menit. Diem-diem gue, Luki dan Dewa cabut ke Plaza Indonesia. Hahahaha. Disinilah mood gue membaik. Walaupun gue ga beli apa-apa selama kita di Aksara (niatnya sih beli satu buku tapi lirikan dompet itu tajem banget. Ya gajadilah), tapi cukup gue dibuat ketawa dan obrolan kita selama dijalan cukup bikin gue tenang dan santai.

Mood gue sekarang? Hmm... gimana yaa?

Tuesday, July 03, 2012

Random Dance

Hold me we're dancing in the dark of the night
You're shining like a neon light
I light you up, when I get inside
So won't you touch me? cause everybody's watching us now
We're putting on a show for the crowd
So turn it up baby make it loud

Maroon 5 - Doin' Dirt


Menari random. Mengibas rambut hitam yang baru dikeramas yang panjangnya sebahu lebih dikit. Poninya kelempar sana-sini. Pundak, pinggul, kepala ikut bergoyang random. Sok-sokan jadi yang paling jago shufflin. Melompat-lompat. Menghentak kaki. Sambil kadang sok-sokan ikut nyanyi dengan gerakan bibir bak girlband nyanyi lip-sync diatas panggung, pake gagang sisir. Sebisa mungkin pasang mimik muka seksi seperti Rihanna atau Beyonce saat mereka nari-nari di panggung. Tapi gagal. Jadi cuma bisa semacam mimik duck-face yang biasa ditemuin di 9gag.com.


Yang barusan itu adalah tingkah gue. Ya, gue. I like to lose myself into some songs. Kaca di kamar kosan gue adalah saksi bisu tingkah random kala gue menari-nari sendirian.

Jangan ditanya gimana rasanya saat gue lagi nari-nari random seperti yang baru aja ini. FIYUH BANGGETS!! Semua perasaan yang meledak-ledak yang cuma bisa gue simpen itu rasanya ngebul, ilang entah kemana. Bukan seperti menyanyi lagu-lagu sedih yang kayak berasa disayat-sayat, tapi ini... ya gitu deh. Coba aja. Hehe.

Malam ini gue baru aja menyelesaikan jurnal yang udah direvisi. Gue bakalan seminar hasil sebentar lagi. Terus sidang. Terus lulus. Terus nganggur sambil nyari kerja dan nyari pacar yang--maunya sih--bakal awet sampe tertulis di KUA #eh #salahfokus #tamparpipisendiri

Semua semua yang gue lalui beberapa bulan ini cuma bisa bersarang disini *nunjuk ke dada tengah* dan ga bisa keluar semua emosi sepenunhnya. I need to refresh. Dan karena gue ga bisa pergi jauh jauh dulu karena gue kejar setoran, yaa paling ngga nari-nari di kamar kosan mewakili lah yaa.

"Lu ngga clubbing aja, fan? Kemang gitu. Sebelah kampus lu aja tempat clubbing tuh."
Kali deeeeehh gue lepas jilbab gue cuma buat kesitu doang. EMOH. Modal kamar kosan, laptop, speaker, sama lampu disko beli di abang-abang juga udah bisa gue nge-club di kamar kosan gue. HAHAHAHAHA #salahfokus #terserahgueajalah


Diantara kacamata, tebaran buku perbankan yang akhir-akhir ini masuk dalam daftar Wajib Baca, jilbab dan kecintaan pada esensi dari mengenakan jilbab itu sendiri, pribadi yang malu-malu awal ketemu, tampang batak yang kejawa-jawaan dikit...
ada si fany...
..yang suka menari-nari sembarangan dihadapan kaca diantara volume lagu yang bikin tetangga kamar kosan nge-BBM minta tolong kecilin volume dikit.


I really do love music. And dance to the music. Perhaps it's already been on my blood.

On my waist, through my hair
Think about it when you touch me there
Close my eyes, here you are
All alone dancing in the dark
Tell me baby if it's wrong
To let my hands do what they want
Late at night I pretend we are
Dance, dance, da-dance dancing in the dark

Dev - In The Dark

Sunday, July 01, 2012

Some Nights are Blue

Some nights we spend are just blue. Blue and blue. Until we run the night eyes closed, soundly sleeping. For some people might be so easy sleeping. But me, I'm one of them who doesn't. My brain keeps on thinking and it's never ending just like marry-go-round. What am I thinking? A lot.

I have this guts of 'oh where have we been? Do boys and getting-a-date which you have them with you now get us apart?' What about our promises? As best friends?

And deadlines been approaching so close to me. It's my thesis (again and again) all the stuff. I'm actually done with it. And hopefully my lecturer will also done with it.

And uhm.. yea. Certainty.

I know I'm supposed to write something else more brilliant than this but I just can't do it tonight I'm a bit ruined. Whatever.