"just tonight, i saw the picture of three of us. it was cheering, i smiled happily when i saw it.
and then, i just felt that i miss them..
we were so close and nothing could separate us ever. but after that tragedy, we are off to ourselves. well, it's not really "US" but actually it's me off to them. since then, i hardly could trust anyone.
and then came a broken-hearted tragedy. it was in our class. when a lecture ask for a group, i could not hardly believe that they did that to me : they refused to be in a group with me in front of other classmates. i wish you know it girls, you broke the very deep of my heart since then.
however, it changed me a lot. i'm a quite girl ever since. i didnt laugh much and i didnt trust at many people. i wasnt feeling confident and comfort. yet, my brokenheart still pounding hard. i really wish you know it girls.
what was wrong with me was, my parents went wrong. and i really cant tell you about this. im sorry.
and now, i really wish you know this girls : I MISS YOU. i miss the way we laugh. i miss the way we hold on to each other and support each other. i dont like if i see you with any other friend to replace me. i cant stand it when i see you laugh without me. and i really feel alone when you dont walk beside me.
because i miss you and i cant tell you made me write this bullshit. yeaah.. i really hope you'd read this and understand this. but... this is only a shit anyway...
just to let you know, my besty, i always think about you alone.
i always think about us."
yaa.. begitulah apa yang gue tulis dalam notes facebook. i just cant help it. they have to know what's inside me for I cant tell them the truth.
girls, if only you see this, i will tell you what was happening with me right then.
"something went wrong with my parents."
ada sesuatu yang salah sama bokap gue. omongannya kasar, perbuatannya nyakitin, dan dia sama sekali ga bisa jadi panutan buat gue. gue benci sama dia. tapi disisi lain gue sayang sama dia--dia bokap gue. selain itu ada lagi hal hal lain yang bikin gue stres, yang gak bisa gue ceritain sama lo waktu itu. karena gue pikir, ngapain juga lo tau aib gue? dan karena gue ngiri sama lo, gue umpetin itu semua.
karena hal yang sepele. cuma karena gue ngerjain tugas sendirian dan seseorang tidak menyukainya, gue dipojokin. padahal mereka gak tau apa yang lagi ada di hati gue. aah bodohnya...
sejak saat itu kita seperti menabuh genderang perang. saling ngejauhin satu sama lain. tapi lo harus tau, tindakan lo menolak untuk sekelompok sama gue waktu di kelasnya pak wasi sangat amat cukup embuat gue nangis sendirian di rumah. gue gak nyangka lo bakal setega itu. nolak untuk sekelompok sama gue secara blak-blakan di depan temen temen lainnya di kelas. lo nyakitin hati gue tau gak!
tapi bagaimanapun juga kita sempat pernah bersahabat. dan itu yang bikin gue kangen..
ah.. betapa indahnya dulu waktu itu bareng bareng.. selalu bertiga kemana aja. foto foto sana sini, ngobrol ini itu...
yaah... kalo aja kalian baca tulisan gue ini.. tapi gue tau, lo semua gak ada yang peduli lagi sama gue kan? tapi harus lo tau satu hal, i always wonder about you. cos i miss you.